


My Sanctuary

by leighwrites



Series: Reddie Oneshots [5]
Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-14 03:03:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17500337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leighwrites/pseuds/leighwrites
Summary: Sanctuary (noun); a refuge or safety from pursuit, persecution, or other danger.For some it's a place. For others it's a person.





	My Sanctuary

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_lazy_eye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_lazy_eye/gifts).



**_“A sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah, where fears and lies melt away.”_ **

Eddie had always been told that rooming with one of his best friends during college was the best way to go. He knew the person, their quirks, and he didn’t have to try and get along with someone new for the sake of surviving the year with some stranger that he was forced to room with. Eddie was pretty sure that everyone who had told him that garbage had never roomed with someone like Richie before. 

Eddie had always been under the assumption that as they grew up, Richie’s nature would calm down and he would become more tolerable to be around; especially considering they had to share a room during most of their free time. He was wrong. If anything, Richie just got worse. The jokes were even more crass than they’d been when they were kids, and Richie just got  _ messier _ which showed in their dorm. 

Everything on Eddie’s side of the room was pretty neat and in a place where it could be easily found, including his desk. The middle of the room seemed to fade off into some invisible dividing line, and beyond that, a warzone. Richie’s things were usually strewn everywhere, laundry included. It had become so hard to tell which clothes were dirty and which were clean that Eddie usually just bundled everything together in a hamper before taking it away.

Eddie was thankful that Richie at  _ least  _ used the wastebasket under his desk.

Richie was  _ loud _ , too, and there were times that it drove Eddie insane. Richie couldn’t even listen to music on a walkman during his restless nights without it being so loud that Eddie could hear the lyrics across the room as if he had the headphones on himself, and to make matters worse Richie would hum or sing along, completely oblivious to just how damn loud he was.

It only got worse worse when he was asleep. Richie didn’t know how to stay still, but Eddie had already figured that one out while they were growing up. Now it was just a minor issue that he’d become used to, but not at night. At night, his inability to stay still and his loudness combined gave Eddie a lot of nights full of disturbed sleep. 

Richie would toss and turn continuously and mutter things in his sleep, and it took Eddie a whole two months to get used to it to the point where Richie’s mutters and the creak of the bedsprings whenever he rolled over just became some kind of weird lullaby that helped Eddie to sleep.

On the third month, something else had started in Richie’s turning and muttering. Eddie had been woken at two in the morning by Richie’s constant turns that were more erratic than usual, and the odd moan and whimper escaped him. At first, Eddie had just brushed it off as Richie having some kind of weird sex dream and rolled over, shoving his pillow over his head in an attempt to go back to sleep. 

But the noises became louder, and Eddie jerked upright in his bed, pillow raised to throw it at Richie to make him shut up, pausing at the next thing that had come out of Richie’s mouth. “Not him. Please.” 

Eddie froze, staring at the Richie’s bed, squinting to see through the dark. Richie was definitely still asleep, blanket half off the bed, and in the dim lighting from the clock on the nightstand next to Richie’s bed, he could see him gripping his pillow in a death grip while repeating ‘no’ over and over again. 

A nightmare. Eddie had never considered that loud Richie who constantly cracked jokes had never recovered from the summer of ‘89. It had never once occurred to him that Richie was still affected by it in any way. He’d been staring at Richie for so long that he hadn’t noticed the noises that were steadily getting louder until he could hear every ‘no’ as clear as if Richie was sitting right next to him.

Eddie climbed from his bed, grabbed his pillow and shuffling across the room to Richie’s bed. Once he was standing directly next to the bed, he raised the pillow high and slammed it down onto Richie’s head to wake him up. He had no intentions of telling Richie that he’d been having a nightmare. Richie would never admit to it. He was going to tell him he was generally being loud, scold him, and go back to bed.

Until he’d seen the pure fear radiating from the soft blue eyes illuminated only by Richie’s alarm clock. Eddie couldn’t recall a time he’d seen Richie afraid; not like this. Eddie gripped the pillow at his side, staring at Richie with understanding washing over him. He’d had the nightmares too once, but over the years they’d faded, and he’d  _ almost  _ forgotten the feeling of the fear that was gripping at Richie right now; almost as strong as Richie was gripping the pillow.

Eddie heaved a sigh, raising his hand to shoo Richie. “I’m cold. Move over.”

The very tired and very  _ confused _ Richie slowly released his pillow and scooted over in the bed. “Yeah, okay.”

Eddie dropped his pillow onto the bed and climbed in next to Richie, dropping next to him with a thump. It wasn’t uncommon for them to share a bed whenever it was cold. Richie was like a furnace; providing constant heat always, and it provided him with the perfect way to comfort Richie without mentioning the nightmares he had been witnessing. 

Settling into the space properly, Eddie threw the blanket over them and curled his arms around Richie, breathing slow and steady so Richie could follow the pattern and calm down; all the while maintaining the facade.

They didn’t speak about the nights when this happened. They didn’t talk about how Richie almost screamed the room down most nights and woke Eddie up to the point that he left his bed to comfort him claiming he was just cold or he couldn’t sleep. They  _ definitely _ didn’t talk about how they would wake up in a tangled mass of limbs with Richie’s head pressed against Eddie’s chest; tucked just under his chin so the dark curls tickled at his flesh. And they  _ certainly  _ never talked about the fact Richie had caught onto the cycle of this happening whenever  _ he  _ was the one having a rough night. 

Eddie would simply check that Richie was okay the following morning, get out of the bed and go to take a shower, leaving Richie to do the same. They would meet for lunch between their morning and afternoon classes with their friends, and they wouldn’t talk about anything regarding the night before, or the morning after when Richie would tighten his arms around Eddie before acting as though he’d just been half awake and hadn’t fully registered Eddie was there. 

Richie would crack jokes until someone said  _ beep, beep Richie, _ and the group would laugh about it ‘still working’ before dispersing to their afternoon classes. They would return to their dorm until it happened again and Richie would be woken by Eddie hitting him with a pillow and climbing into the bed next to him, complaining about how loud Richie was and never once addressing the fact of  _ why  _ he was so loud. 

Richie never mentioned the nightmares, Eddie didn’t bring up that he knew about them and nothing would change between them because it didn’t have to. They were Richie and Eddie and this was their dynamic even if something got out of hand and resulted in a big argument which was usually broken up by Stan or Mike who used the room next to their own. It was  _ good _ . They didn’t need to mess with it.

Not even when Beverly pointed out that they radiated pure emotional attraction with each other and needed to do something about it. Eddie refused. He wasn’t going to risk his best friend over something like this, especially when all he had to go on was Beverly’s  _ speculation _ . Just because she said there was something there didn’t mean there was.

But part of him wondered if there was, especially on the  _ very  _ rare occasion that he wasn’t woken up by one of Richie’s nightmares, but instead by Richie climbing into his bed and brushing it off as  _ I woke up for the bathroom and you looked cold so I just climbed in. _ Eddie would notice the exhausted look in Richie’s eyes, definitely not the look of someone who had just taken the ten minute walk to the bathroom and back, and the lack of glasses before he would sigh, mutter a tired thanks, and curl up.

They continued to dance around the topic, and Eddie chose not to act on the few times he’d heard Richie mutter his name in his sleep and tighten his grip on him no matter how much a deep part of him that churned with guilt  _ demanded  _ that he talk to Richie about what bothered him. 

Bottling things up and burying it deep down never ended well. It  _ couldn’t  _ end well, but Eddie didn’t know  _ how  _ to bring either topic up so he didn’t; allowing the guilt to eat away at him every time one of them climbed into the other’s bed.

  
**_“So many ups and downs, my heart’s a battleground.”_ **

“For fuck sake Richie.” Eddie snapped for the fifth time that night, slamming his notebook shut, unable to block out the creaking of Richie’s chair whenever his leg bounced; which it was doing a lot and  _ very fast and loud. _

Richie’s leg stilled mid-bounce, not looking up from the work spread out on his desk. “What?”

“Your fucking  _ leg _ .” Eddie hissed, grabbing a different notebook from the foot of his bed. “Control your body before I chain it up.”

Richie finally looked away from his work, pen poised at his mouth where the lid at the end of biro was chewed into a mess from Richie’s anxious gnawing. “That’s a little kinky for you. Damn, who knew you were into some freaky shit in the bedroom?”

Eddie opened his mouth, face turning what Richie classed as an interesting shade of red. “I - you -  _ shut up Richie. _ ”

Richie let out a laugh, a wide grin on his face as he stood, grabbing his books and moving to his bed. The room fell into silence again as they worked, the only noises coming from Richie chewing at his pen lid or one of them turning a page in their books.

“Hey Eds?” Richie asked, pausing in the middle of reading something and cocking his head in Eddie’s direction. Eddie didn’t look up from his work, humming softly to show he was listening. “About last night...”

Intrigued, Eddie looked up from his work and over to Richie. Where was he going with this? “What about it?”

“It - I -” Richie heaved a sigh, shaking his head and looking back down at his work. “I’m sorry.”

Eddie frowned, his attention remaining on Richie who was trying his hardest not to look up from his notebook. Every fiber of his being screamed at him to tell Richie it wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t help the nightmares. But they  _ never  _ talked about it. They just danced around the topic like it wasn’t there.

Eddie slowly turned his attention back to his work. “It’s okay. Gives me an excuse to wake you up and use you as a radiator.”

Richie laughed, the sound soft, and in that moment he’d never appreciated Eddie more for  _ not bringing it up  _ and acting like the nightmares didn’t happen. Because Richie didn’t talk about problems. He buried them deep inside where he didn’t have to think about them or talk about them, and whenever Eddie noticed problems he didn’t mention them to avoid pushing Richie.

“I don’t understand why you don’t just  _ talk  _ to him.” Stan said one night that he and Eddie were studying in Stan’s dorm, twiddling his pen idly between his fingers. 

Eddie shifted on Stan’s bed, stretching one of his legs out from under him. “Stan… Richie won’t admit it and he wont  _ talk  _ about it. You  _ know  _ that. He’s always been like that.”

“As true as that is...” Stan looked up from his work, meeting Eddie’s gaze. “If  _ you  _ were the one to talk to him he would tell you. He’s always so…  _ open  _ with you.” At Eddie’s confused look, Stan exhaled heavily. “You never noticed it before did you? Do you really think he’d let me or any of the others just climb into his bed the way you do? Do you think he’d climb into  _ ours _ ?”

“I -” Eddie paused, considering what Stan had said for a moment. Stan had spent more time sleeping at Richie’s when they were younger than anyone had, and if anyone knew this part of Richie, he did. “Does that really mean he’d talk to me about this though?”

“You don’t know for sure until you try, Eddie.  _ Talk. To. Him. _ ”

Eddie groaned, returning to his work. Once again he was torn between wanting to confront Richie, to make him talk about his problems instead of bottling them up, and wanting to just continue how things were; afraid that if he opened the floodgate he would confront Richie about  _ other  _ things. Like the way Richie would curl his arm around Eddie’s own when they walked, sometimes grabbing his hand and swinging it between them like it didn’t mean anything. To Richie it probably didn’t because he was a touchy person, but to Eddie it meant  _ something _ if the fluttering feelings in his stomach were anything to go by.

And the more he thought about it or paid attention to Richie, the more he noticed it. Richie hugged everyone, sure, but that was it. It was only Beverly who Richie would walk  _ really  _ close to, arms linked together, and that was just because of how close they were. The two of them were almost inseparable. They all were, but Richie didn’t act like this with the other  _ guys  _ in the group. The hugs were brief and the most contact they had was Richie playfully shoving one of them or one of them playfully shoving  _ him _ . And even  _ that  _ was different. 

The last time Richie had playfully shoved Eddie, he’d snagged his hand at the last second, a soft smile on his face and pulled Eddie back towards him, releasing him once he was sure Eddie was upright and in no immediate danger of falling. Maybe Stan and Beverly were onto something, and maybe by not talking to Richie, it made him think that Eddie didn’t feel the same, that Eddie  _ didn’t  _ care. His chest constricted at that. Maybe their dynamic  _ wasn’t  _ so good after all. 

Stan was right. He  _ needed  _ to talk to Richie. Not just about the nightmares, but  _ everything _ . The problem with this plan, however, was that Richie was in such a good mood lately to the point where Eddie didn’t want to bring up anything that would shake that mood and bring it crashing down into something serious. It was rare he got to see Richie happy and relaxed. He wasn’t about to go and ruin that.

Eddie returned to the dorm one evening after one of his study sessions with Stan to find Richie sitting at his desk, walkman perched at the end and a set of headphones on. He was tapping his pen against the edge of his desk like it was a drumstick, his work forgotten in front of him and posture relaxed in his seat as he sang along with the music, and Eddie quietly closed the door behind him.

“Ohh, kiss me, beneath the milky twilight. Lead mee, out on the moonlit floor. Lift your open hand, strike up the band, and make fireflies dance, silver moon’s sparkling. So kiss me.”

Eddie carefully placed his books onto his bed, attempting to block out Richie’s singing. It wasn’t like Eddie disliked the song. It wasn’t even that Richie had a particularly bad singing voice, in fact it was his best voice next to his natural one, but Eddie just wanted to do nothing more than  _ adhere  _ the stupid lyrics pouring out of his mouth.

“We’ll take the trail marked on your father’s map, ohh-” Richie was cut off suddenly as Eddie yanked the headphones down so they hung around his neck, tilting his head back and grinning. “Hey Eds, when’d you get back?”

“Just now actually. Do you always study this loudly when I leave you alone?”

Richie’s grin widened. “The music helps me focus on my work for the most part, but I know it distracts you too much so I save it for when you’re not here.”

“Did you ever consider turning the walkman down so the music can only be heard by you and  _ doesn’t _ distract me?”

“Oh sweet little Eddie.” Richie reached up awkwardly, ruffling Eddie’s soft blonde hair. “You can’t just listen to music quietly. You have to listen to it at brain thumping, body vibrating volume in order to  _ really  _ experience every chord and every hitch of the voice. You should try it sometime.”

Eddie snorted, batting his hand away. “I kind of like having my hearing. You’re gonna end up deaf before you’re twenty-three.”

“Well, on the plus side, I won’t have to listen to the sound of Stan scolding me anymore.”

“You could just… not annoy him.”

Richie’s grin widened even further. “Come on Eds, where’s the fun in that?”

Eddie shook his head, a fond smile on his face. Yeah, he didn’t need to bring down this mood with any serious talks about what was wrong with Richie or how he felt about him. For now he could just live in the moment; just like Richie did every day.

 

**_“I watch you, fast asleep. All I fear, means nothing.”_ **

If Richie had thought that the nightmares which plagued him were bad, it was nothing compared to the constant state of exhaustion that would settle in on the days he just flat out couldn’t sleep. These were the times when Richie was wide awake all through the night, staring up at the ceiling and watching the shadows move on the ceiling from the trees just outside the window.

And sometimes, when the haze of not sleeping mixed with the nightmares he’d been having, the paranoia would kick in and he’d roll onto his side to face Eddie’s bed across the room, squinting to see through the darkness that had enveloped the room. To check he was still there. And he was; lying on his side with his back to Richie and sleeping soundly. He was here and safe. Not dead in some sewer covered in blood and grime with one arm torn from his body.

Richie had never admitted to anyone that one of the reasons he’d been so adamant on sharing a room with Eddie was so he could  _ constantly check to make sure he was there and alive.  _ Eddie had just assumed it was because of how close they were and had agreed as long as it had shut him up, and Richie had never bothered to correct it.

They would have just laughed anyway.

“Oi.”

Richie jerked awake at the nudge of a knee in the back of his chair. The last four nights of not sleeping had finally caught up with him, and while he’d been attempting to study, he’d slowly found himself succumbing to sleep until he’d slumped over on his desk, using his psychology work as a pillow. The CD he’d been listening to had long ended, the headphones filling his ears with nothing but a soft static silence.

“Have you ever thought about actually using your bed when you’re tired?” Eddie asked as Richie tugged the headphones down around his neck, amusement and concern in his voice. “It  _ has  _ to be more comfortable than your desk.”

Richie slowly sat up, rubbing at one of his eyes with the heel of his palm. “I tried that and couldn’t sleep so I decided to study.”

“Richie,” Eddie paused for a moment, considering the best way to word what he wanted to ask without setting Richie off, “is there something on your mind? That’s usually a  _ big  _ factor in why someone  _ can’t  _ sleep. Is it class? Your workload?”

For a moment, Richie just stared at him, letting the questions sink in. Eddie had phrased everything in a way that didn’t  _ force  _ him to talk. He was giving him the chance to either open up or hide if he wasn’t ready. Classes and the workload that came with them weren’t easy for anyone, and Richie had the option to hide behind either excuse.

Richie exhaled slowly, dropping his hand into his lap where he nervously scratched at a hole in the denim of his jeans. “No. It’s not class. Class is going just great and the workload is manageable.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

Richie twisted his desk chair around so he could face Eddie. “It’s you. Not like - wow okay that came out wrong.”

Eddie rolled his eyes with a soft laugh. “Reload your words, Richie.”

“Nice analogy. Okay, give me a second.” Richie was surprised with how patient Eddie was. Eddie was a spitfire who had grown into someone who ran on a short fuse. Patience  _ wasn’t  _ in his dictionary these days. “Okay. I’m struggling to sleep because I have nightmares. About you.”

“Sounds about right if I’m there.” Eddie said, trying to keep the tone somewhat light. Richie  _ needed  _ that.

It worked, and Richie let out a laugh. “Not like that. Damn, Eds, give yourself some credit. It’s to do with what happened when we were younger… back in Derry.”

The shift in the mood was suffocating. It had gone from light teasing to a tense serious. “Okay, and - what happens in the nightmare?”

“It kills you… rips your arm off just like - and I can’t stop it. I can’t do anything about it. And I hate it because I  _ know  _ it’s dead. I was  _ there _ . I saw it die. I saw it get its heart ripped out… and it’s so bad that sometimes I can’t sleep and I spend most of my night making sure you’re still there… and when I wake up in the middle of the night and I can’t immediately see you -”

“That’s why you come to me… because I didn’t wake up and come to you.” Eddie finished for him, crouching in front of the chair and pressing his hands to Richie’s legs. “Okay, next question. Do you have them after you’ve woken up and gone back to sleep?”

There was a look on Richie’s face that Eddie couldn’t place. “You mean when you’re right there and I can  _ feel  _ you there? No. I don’t have them then.”

“Okay so...” Eddie squeezed at one of Richie’s legs, thumb circling his knee. “How about tonight you… sleep in my bed? From the start of the night? We can call it a test. See if you have one.”

“Yeah, okay. A test.”

Eddie nodded and stood, crossing the room and grabbing a small bag of bathroom supplies. “Hey Richie? Um… is it always me?”

“Every time.”

“Do you know why?”

“I -” It was almost like there was something Richie desperately wanted to say; something he was holding back. “No idea. Maybe it’s because we’re so close.”  _ Or because I’ve been in love with you since we were thirteen and I’m terrified of losing you. _

“Maybe. I’ll be back soon okay?”

“Right. Uh - thanks for… this.”

Eddie paused at the door, gripping the handle lightly. “Why didn’t you take the out? You could have hid behind an excuse… but you didn’t.”

“I figured since you were trying… I would too.”

Eddie smiled, shaking his head and opening the door before slipping out into the hallway and heading for the bathroom. Richie slowly turned back to his desk, picking up his pen and continuing where he’d left off with his work before he’d passed out, only stopping once Eddie had returned from showering.

It was the first night Richie could recall sleeping without the nightmares plaguing him and without being disturbed until his alarm went off the following morning. He untangled himself from Eddie carefully, stumbling across the room and slamming his hand down onto his alarm to silence it. Eddie’s plan had worked. He’d slept through the whole night because Eddie was there, which meant that he relied on Eddie in order to sleep like he was some kind of a comfort blanket. 

“Richie?” Eddie asked, voice heavy with sleep as he slowly propped himself up to look at his own alarm clock. “It’s  _ Saturday  _ why are you awake at eight in the - did it not work?”

Richie felt his heart stop at the disappointed look he could just about make out on Eddie’s face, hitting another button on his alarm and stumbling back across the blurry room. “It worked, I just forgot to turn my alarm off.”

The disappointment turned into a smile. “Good. You can… sleep here tonight too if you want.”

Richie dropped back into the space next to Eddie, pulling the blanket back over himself. “I was thinking more of right now. I’m still  _ extremely  _ tired.”

Eddie curled into Richie with a yawn, closing his eyes. “Sure thing. Whatever you need.”

“What I need is...” Richie yawned, burying his face into the top of Eddie’s head.  _ You _ . “More sleep.”

 

**_“I need more affection than you know.”_ **

“If you don’t put that book down once in a while you’re going to fry your brain, Eds.” Richie closed the door to their room behind him with one hand, using the other to ruffle his towel against his hair. “Don’t you have an exam tomorrow?”

“Yes, which is  _ exactly  _ why I’m studying.” Eddie snapped, not bothering to look up from the notebook that was open in his lap, brow furrowed as he turned a page quickly. “We can’t all have your memory.”

Richie blinked, letting the towel fall down to his shoulders where it dampened the back of his shirt, grabbing his glasses from his nightstand and shoving them on. “Believe me, if I could trade with you so you didn’t have to study for this exam, I would.”

Eddie’s concentration broke, a laugh bubbling in his throat. “I think I’ll pass on that. I don’t need the image of what your dick looks like  _ burned  _ into my mind for eternity.”

Richie made a mock noise of offense, bringing the end of his towel up to rub just inside the arm of his glasses. “Don’t insult it til you’ve seen it, Eds.”

“I’m sorry… are you  _ offering  _ to show me your dick?”

“I - wow okay I did  _ not  _ mean for it to come off that way.” Richie shook his head, reaching over and snagging the book from Eddie’s lap and snapping it shut. “Okay, that’s enough studying, Eds. Trying to cram even more into that already smart brain of yours isn’t going to help. You need sleep so the information can sink in and stay there.”

Eddie opened his mouth, a protest ready to spill out before he exhaled heavily and slowly fell back, his head hitting the pillow with a thump. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Richie grinned, removing the towel from his head and dropping onto the bed next to Eddie. “I usually am. Hey does this… ever feel weird to you? Like… I know you offered because it would help me but...”

Eddie reached between them as Richie trailed off, lacing their fingers together. “No. Never. Does it feel weird to you?”

Richie shook his head, squeezing at Eddie’s hand. “No. It’s almost like… it’s natural.”

Eddie found himself smiling, squeezing Richie’s hand in response. Natural was  _ definitely  _ how he’d describe their dynamic these days. Like they were  _ supposed  _ to do these things. Like it was their second nature.

The following day, Richie watched an almost frazzled Eddie as he ran around the dorm gathering his things for classes and his exam. Reaching for the foot of the bed, Richie unhooked the backpack from the post, holding the strap loosely against his palm and dangling it towards Eddie.

Eddie stopped when he saw the backpack Richie was holding, knowing for a  _ fact  _ he hadn’t seen Richie holding it before now. “Where the hell did you -”

“Hanging off the bedpost like  _ every  _ day.”

“This exam is going to kill me.” Eddie grumbled, taking the backpack and sliding the strap over his shoulder.

“Not if you kill it first.” Richie pointed out, smile on his face. 

“Right - yeah. I’ll see you after classes.”

“Hold on a second.” Richie grabbed Eddie’s arm as he crossed the room, pulling him back towards him. “Good luck with the exam. You’re gonna kill it.”

Eddie opened his mouth, most likely to protest, when Richie did the last thing he’d expected. It was like Richie was on some weird autopilot, leaning down and pressing their lips together. It didn’t last long, and Richie had soon pulled back, an unreadable expression on his face, like  _ he  _ was still processing what had happened too.

And then Richie was gone, the door closing behind him quickly, leaving a confused Eddie behind in the dorm. “What the fuck?” 

Richie had made it just out of the dorm building when the realisation had come crashing down. He’d just kissed his friend. Sure, it was a really  _ brief  _ kiss, but he’d still done it. What the hell was he thinking? Eddie was going to murder him later. Why did he have to go and fuck up their dynamic with a kiss?

“I’m sorry, he  _ kissed  _ you and then  _ ran _ ?” Stan repeated, walking alongside Eddie towards the dorms after classes.

Eddie nodded, tightening his hand around the strap over his shoulder. “And he’s been avoiding me all day. He didn’t even show up at lunch.”

“Well...” Stan hummed thoughtfully, opening the door to their dorm building. “I can’t say I’m surprised that he kissed you. He probably ran because that wasn’t how he expected to kiss you or he thinks it was wrong or even… he thinks you don’t feel the same. You know what he’s like… you know better than anyone.”

“Yeah… okay… so… what do I do?”

“At this point? Just grab him and kiss him. His brain is moving like six million miles a minute and words aren’t going to get through to him.”

Eddie returned to the dorm to see that Richie was already there, sitting at his desk and working away with his headphones on as usual. The music sounded louder than usual, like Richie had it on full blast to block out the world around him completely. Eddie threw his backpack onto his bed and crossed the room, grabbing the back of the chair and twisting it around, using his other hand to pull the headphones off and toss them onto the desk.

“We need to talk, Richie.”

Richie stared at him, the unreadable look on his face again before he raised his hand, tossing his pen over his shoulder onto the desk. “Look, if it’s about this morning, I’m sorry, okay? I know I stepped out of line. I shouldn’t have -”

“Shut up.” Eddie removed his hand from the chair, staring down at Richie. “Just… what the hell is going on in your head Richie? Sometimes, you drive me insane with the way you act, you make me think you like me and then you brush it off as something else or you avoid me, and I can’t keep playing this game Richie because somewhere in all of that, I started to like you too. And if you’re not serious you  _ need  _ to tell me now -”

“You think I’m not serious?” Richie asked, cutting over him. “Do you see me crawling into someone else’s bed because I can’t sleep? Do you see me dreaming about  _ them  _ dying because I care about them  _ that  _ much that I’m scared they’re gonna be ripped away from me or -”

Richie was cut off when Eddie was suddenly kissing him, climbing into his lap awkwardly in the desk chair and tangling his fingers into the dark curls. It felt like an eternity before Richie’s arms finally moved around him, his fingers sinking into Eddie’s shirt and clutching him against him. It wasn’t as graceful as the brief kiss they’d had that morning. It was sloppier, almost desperate in a way.

The dynamic had tipped from their weird grey area into something else, and Eddie just  _ had  _ to be sure, reluctantly pulling himself away from Richie. “Does this mean we’re dating now?”

Richie stared up at him, hands dipping into Eddie’s shirt and spreading out against his back. “Yeah, if that’s what you want.”

Eddie leaned forward, pressing a brief kiss to Richie’s lips. “Do you really think I’d be sitting here in your lap and kissing you if that’s  _ not  _ what I wanted?”

There was a soft laugh from Richie, the sound vibrating against Eddie. “Yeah, okay, you’ve made your point. Okay then we’re… dating.”

 

**_“In you and I, there’s a new land.”_ **

“Eds,” Richie groaned, back arching from the bed as his fingers sank into the blanket under him, “stop teasing.”

Eddie slowly removed his tongue from inside of Richie, tilting his head to press a soft kiss to the inside of his thigh. His lips trailed up to Richie’s hip, across to his stomach and then slowly up the length of his torso until he reached his neck which was already starting to bruise from one of Eddie’s bites.

“Are you always this impatient Chee?” Eddie asked, his voice a low whisper as he reached for the bottle and foil packet on the nightstand.

“I thought we already knew I was when it came to you.”

Eddie let out a soft laugh and sat back on his knees, working quickly to open the packet and roll the condom on, carefully and thoroughly lubing himself up. Looking down at Richie, he took in the sight of the flushed skin and the firm heavy movements of his chest as Richie panted; his eyes half lidded. Eddie had never seen anything that looked so alluring before.

“Eds?”

“Sorry I just… wanna remember this. How you look right now.” Eddie placed a hand to Richie’s stomach, fingers spreading across the flesh. “You look so good.”

“Eds...”

Eddie leaned down, pressing his mouth to Richie’s, reaching between them to wrap a hand around himself and slowly push himself into Richie. Richie hissed, his hands twisting into the sheets as Eddie filled him at a torturously slow pace.

“Fuck.” Richie breathed once Eddie was completely settled inside him, kissing along the bruises on his neck as he waited for Richie to adjust. “You weren’t kidding when you said it felt good to be on the receiving end.”

Eddie couldn’t hold back his laugh, dipping his head to press a firm kiss against the space just under Richie’s ear. “Just wait. I’m gonna make you feel as good as you make me feel, Chee.”

Eddie could feel the shiver that ran through Richie’s body, trailing his kisses along Richie’s jaw and stopping short of his mouth. When he’d suggested this, he didn’t think Richie was going to  _ agree _ to let Eddie take control, and he certainly hadn’t thought that Richie would had slipped into the role of letting someone take care of him so easily.

Once he was sure that he’d given Richie enough time to adjust, Eddie started to move. It was slow at first, giving Richie any extra time he might need to adjust to the feeling, drawing soft moans and uttered ‘fucks’ from him with each thrust.

It wasn’t long before Richie’s legs were curling around Eddie’s waist, begging him to go faster, deeper,  _ anything  _ that would give him release, and Eddie complied to every plea that fell from Richie’s mouth. He shifted to brace himself on the bed with one hand, the other gripping at one of his hips. Richie’s hand clawed down Eddie’s back, drawing a hiss from Eddie and a sharp buck of his hips that hit Richie’s prostate which drew a sharp cry from him.

Eddie dipped his head down, pressing a firm kiss to Richie’s collarbone. “See, I told you I’d make you feel good, Chee.”

The response he got wasn’t what he’d expected. There was no teasing comment fired back at him. Richie could only groan and cling desperately to him, tightening his legs around his waist before letting out a soft whimper. “Eds - close -”

Eddie bit down softly on his collarbone. “Then just let go Chee.”

Richie could feel the coil that had been tightening in his stomach curl even more before it snapped and he released with a sharp cry of ‘Eds’, nails dragging down the expanse of Eddie’s back; the sight of it enough to push Eddie over the edge too, fingers digging harshly against Richie’s hip as he stilled inside of him. Eddie released his hip as they came down from the high, leaning over Richie to kiss him.

Eddie woke the following morning to find Richie’s side of the bed empty, but it wasn’t hard to figure out where he was due to the cool air blowing into the room and the faint smell of smoke that drifted in the air. Slowly sitting up, he found Richie sitting on the window ledge in just his boxers, cigarette hanging from his mouth and the window pushed wide open. 

Eddie took the moment to just watch him, taking in how relaxed and peaceful Richie looked. It had been a while since he’d seen Richie like this, and he couldn’t help but smile. This was  _ his _ Richie.

Almost as if he sensed Eddie was watching him, Richie tilted his head in the direction of the bed, removing the cigarette from his mouth with a smile. “Hey. So uh… last night was… different.”

“Hey  _ you  _ were the one who wanted to know why I never took charge. All I did was offer to show you why.”

Richie let out a tired laugh, stubbing the cigarette out into the ashtray by his feet. “I wasn’t complaining Eds. I enjoyed it.”

“Yeah? Something you’d do again?”

“Not for a bit. Like damn Kaspbrak, warn a guy how big you are before you stick it in.”

Eddie heaved a sigh, slowly dropping back onto the mattress and letting out a groan. “I think I preferred it when you were too far gone to speak. How are you feeling?”

“A little sore. Like I said, warn a guy.” Richie slid from the window ledge, reaching over to close the window before heading back to the bed and climbing back into the space next to Eddie.

Eddie rolled onto his side, curling an arm around Richie’s waist and pressing his head to his chest. “You were the one who complained at me to stop teasing.”

Richie yawned, curling his arms around Eddie. “Okay that’s fair. Next time I’ll just keep my mouth shut and let you do your ten minute prep in peace.”

Eddie mimicked the yawn, nuzzling his face into Richie’s chest. “What time is it?”

Richie tilted his head to the nightstand, squinting to see the red numbers on the alarm clock through his blurred vision. “About seven.”

“That’s too early to be awake. It’s _ the weekend _ .”

“In my defence you weren’t supposed to wake up.”

“Why did  _ you _ ? Nightmare?”

“Nah, nothin’ like that.” Richie tightened his arms around Eddie, shifting him so his head rested just under his chin. “Someone stuck a lethal weapon inside me last night and it hurt a little.”

“I thought you said you were just sore?”

“I am.  _ Now _ . It was more of a dull ache that woke me up.”

Eddie sighed, pressing a kiss to Richie’s chest before settling back into him. “I’m sorry Chee.”

Richie let out a soft laugh, tilting his head to press a kiss to the top of Eddie’s head. “Don’t worry about it Eds. I’m not complaining. I told you. I enjoyed it. Last night should have told you that. You really know how to take care of a guy.”

“No.” Eddie tilted his head up, pressing a kiss to Richie’s throat. “I just know how to take care of  _ you _ , Richie. That’s one thing I’ll always be good at.”

Richie tightened himself around Eddie.

 

**_“My fears, my lies, melt away.”_ **

Richie was startled awake as something slammed into him. For a moment, confusion and panic set in as he took in the dark living room around him, illuminated only by the television that was playing shopping ads. The thing that had slammed into him moved, zeroing his attention in on the form of Eddie who was sprawled over him on the sofa, head pressed into his chest. Richie smiled, wrapping his arms around Eddie.

“Sorry.” Eddie mumbled into his shirt, voice thick with tiredness. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay.” Richie soothed, running a hand through the messy blonde curls. “Busy night?”

Eddie groaned, the sound vibrating against Richie’s chest. “Why’d you let me be a doctorrr?”

Richie laughed, the action bouncing Eddie slightly on his chest. “Because that’s what you wanted to do, Eds. That’s what you’ve wanted to do since we were fifteen.”

“Stupid of me.” Eddie mumbled, slowly lifting his head. “Why are you down here anyway? We have a perfectly good bed in our room.”

“Couldn’t sleep so I came down here and allowed the weird television ads to lull me to sleep.”

Eddie’s face softened, his hands moving to Richie’s face where his thumbs brushed just under the rim of his glasses. “My night shifts are the worst huh?”

“They take you away from me of course they are.”

“I’m sorry.” Eddie leaned towards Richie, connecting their mouths in a brief kiss. “Did you have fun with Alison?”

Richie chuckled, tightening his arms around him. “Let’s see, I made her dinner, we had intense video game play in which she kicked my ass just like you would, she forced me into a tea party in which I was  _ Sir Richard  _ and then she ran around the house until she tired herself out and fell over in the hallway and passed out.”

“Richie!”

“I’m kidding. Well, kind of. She fell but I caught her before she could actually hit the floor. She’s fast asleep in bed. Beverly was  _ not _ joking when she said age five and six would be a riot.”

There was a soft laugh from Eddie. “Jerk. Don’t ever let me think you let our child slam face first into the floor again.”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. That was mean.” Richie tightened his arms around Eddie and slowly sat up, positioning him into his lap. “We should get you to bed too.”

Eddie draped his arms over Richie’s shoulders with a yawn. “Yeah, that sounds good. I could sleep for a year right about now.”

Eddie slept in until one the following day, not surprised to find Richie’s side of the bed empty. He showered quickly and headed downstairs where he could hear the faint voices of Richie and Alison once in a while. It didn’t take long to spot them on the sofa, Richie lying down with Alison tucked between him and the back of the sofa and an arm secured around her. 

Alison’s attention was glued to the television which displayed Tangled, and Eddie knew right there that once again Richie had lost the fight with their daughter on what movie to watch, because Alison adored the Rapunzel story more than any other and had no doubt won Richie over with her big pleading green eyes that were eerily similar to Eddie’s own.

Approaching the sofa, Eddie leaned down to press a kiss to the top of Richie’s head. “I see you lost the movie war again.”

Richie grinned up at him. “I always do, Eds. You taught her too well how to get her own way. I can’t say no to those pleading eyes.”

Eddie smiled, walking around the sofa as Richie lifted himself up enough so that Eddie could slip into the space before dropping his head into his lap. “I had to teach her how to wrap you around her little finger to remind you of your place.”

“I feel incredibly outnumbered in this house.”

“You love it.”

Richie stared up at him, a soft smile on his face. “Yeah, I do. I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Eddie ran his fingers through Richie’s hair. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Next to you who wouldn’t? I only woke up because  _ someone  _ decided to jump onto me at seven in the morning. I don’t know  _ how  _ you slept through that or her shouting… or the part where she was shoving you to try and wake you up.” 

“Couldn’t possibly be from the long night shift or  _ someone  _ deciding to wear me out further after, could it?”

“Hey, you were the one complaining he was tense and couldn’t settle. I just helped to relax you.”

“You f - drove me into a coma is what you did.”

“What can I say? I provide a  _ great  _ service.” Richie grinned, one hand rising to flick at Eddie’s nose. “If you almost slip up like that again I’m gonna have to make you eat soap. You know the rule. You’re the one who set it down.”

“Richie… she’s not even awake.”

Richie slowly shifted his attention back to Alison whose eyes were closed, breathing steady. “Every damn time. I lose the war just for her to sleep through half of her movie. I don’t think she’s  _ ever  _ watched this all the way through.”

“No, she did once. At the movies.”

“Where the hell was  _ I? _ ”

“Work. Like you said, I trained her well and she  _ begged  _ to go and see it.”

Richie laughed, trying not to disturb the sleeping child who was using him as a pillow. “I’m mildly offended she couldn’t wait for me, but then again we already know she’s all you.”

“Not true. When you’re not here she sulks.”

“Oh? Who does  _ that  _ remind you of?”

“That’s because we hate it when you’re not here Chee. When you’re not here she’s trying to crack jokes on your level to make me laugh.”

“You should hear her when  _ you’re  _ not here.  _ Don’t leave that there, you’re gonna spread germs  _ or  _ dad wash your hands before you do that _ .”

“Damn between the two of us she’s gonna become one hell of a comedian with an intense aversion to germs. Have you ever considered doing those things so she doesn’t scold you? Only you would get scolded by a five year old.”

Richie tucked his hands under his head, grinning up at Eddie. “Nah, I like it. When she does that it’s like you’re here.”

“Think that’s why she does it?”

“Oh I  _ know  _ that’s why she does it.” Richie’s grin faded into a smile. “I love it. Her. You. Maybe those nightmares I had when I was younger weren’t such a bad thing after all. I mean, okay, they were bad but… they gave me you. All that bed sharing.”

“Yeah, don’t ever make me wait that long for anything again.”


End file.
